Posted in
Humor on November 26th, 2006
Dear Cox Cable,
I have been a customer for the past 5 months. I am very happy with your service. I switched from DirecTV after being terribly disappointed with their consistently scrambled signal — which would cause their receiver to freeze. Your dual-tuner DVR works as promised and never misses a show.
I consider myself one of your "premier" customers. I have the full platinum package; 2 DVRs, 1 standard box, and the NBA season pass. I pay you a decent amount of money per month and I am happy to do so. You recently made upgrading one of my DVR boxes to the HD box very easy. Within 12 hours, I had a brand new 8300 HD. We will get to the fact you can't start a recording program from the beginning, in a different email. Over all, I am very happy with you.
On Saturday, November, 25th I purchased the on-demand movie The Break Up. Your on-demand service quickly started the program and the remote ordering couldn't be an easier. It's like having Spectra Vision in my house and the movie is only $3.95. I am currently working on a web development project and I choose this light comedy as the perfect background entertainment.
I didn't laugh. I didn't laugh once. I would often take a quick break from W3 complaint XHTML code and rewind the movie. I thought perhaps I missed something. Perhaps I wasn't paying enough attention to the ubber-funny Vince Vaughn. Did you miss-categorize this movie? You have it listed as a comedy. I didn't laugh. I didn't laugh once. There wasn't one joke. For 105 minutes the thought of table-less XHTML using CSS was more entertaining and humorous. Especially if you think of the irony of having to place the float:right element before the float:left. Talk about silly semantic placement in the DOM. Ha Ha. Yeah, that's my point. The Break Up was so unfunny that I lost my sense of humor.
I would like for you to refund my money for this atrocious movie. While it will be easy for you to just credit me the $3.95 so I can purchase a good movie, it will be impossible for you to give me back that 105 min. I hope that over time my sense of humor will be restored. I would like for you to please send me some free movie passes so I can go see Borat 105 consecutive times. Hopefully that will restore the egregious damage to my psyche that was caused by The Break Up.
Sincerely,
phuker#1
At 8:30pm every Thurday night, my Scientific Atlanta 8300HD DVR records The Office. My schedule generally has me doing a million others things besides watching TV. However, I usually start the episode around 8:45. This mostly happens because I return home with dinner. The 8300 doesn't have an option to start the episode from the beginning.
Once a program is finished recording there is an entire menu of options. Start from the beginning; skip to end; copy to vcr; etc… All these options now but while the show is being recorded, that's it. You can watch, from the "live" position.
Posted in
Poems on November 15th, 2006
The intrepid understanding fleets through the morning light as it breaks the mystery that has consumed the spirit. For he is to be forsaken, forgiven, forgotten. To be the wiser with no understanding is the epitome of man. As I walk these valleys of sand I may not think of the past. I may not think of the future. For it is only the present, for which I will ever know.
Britney Spears should not be allowed to divorce K-Fed. The only reason I have ever typed his name is due to her. Well…his inadvertently comedic performance at the Teen Awards did provide ample blogging fuel. We don't need to waste our metacarpophalangeal joints on the letters K-Fed.
Why are television shows giving this guy airtime? How is the booking agent not crying of laughter when his manager aka body guard aka dance choreographer aka kush connection makes the call? How is the booking agent not immediately fired?
So I plead to the Judge: Do not let Britney divorce K-Fed!
If we are stuck with K-Fed and his soon to be D-level-reality-TV-show-stardom, she must also have to endure the K-Fed.
Please sign the petition so we can hopefully make Britney live with K-Fed…like we have to.
Posted in
Phuked on November 12th, 2006
Honda announced that this is the last production year of the beloved Acura NSX. Honda reported 0 sold in the October 2006. 8 were sold in October 2005. This sad news doesn't come without something to look forward to — Honda has announced the V10 replacement.
NSX fans will have until 2009 to actually see this car in production. I have always loved the NSX. It is one of the slickest looking cars on the road. It's not just all show, it was built with performance in mind. I know Honda will do great job on the successor. It's a shame though…now the price of an NSX is going to skyrocket on eBay.
I am not exactly sure what is going on in this pic. I guess it's a combination of the lighting, the way Ashlee is walking and her socks…but this pic makes it look like Ashlee only has 1 leg. If Ashlee actually only has one leg, she should totally forget about singing and market herself as the hottest chick in the world…with one leg.
Click on the pic for a larger version.
Email spam rose nearly 10% in the month of October. Many spammers are using image based messages in the body which go undetected by the spam filters. Microsoft's Outlook 2003 has a pretty good junk-mail filter, although recently two important emails made their way in there. So I have to quickly glance through my junk-mail folder every day. I have been dealing with spam for over ten years. I shut down one of my most favorite email addresses because I was receiving at least 1000 pieces of spam per day. Spam is annoying but I have learned to deal with it. As spammers get smarter I am hopeful the filters will get smarter too.
What is really starting to bother me is the snail-mail spam. With each move I have made in the past 5 years the junk mailers have grown immensely. I hate checking my mail because it is NOTHING but junk that I have to throw out. Occasionaly there is a coupon or an ad for something worth wild but the trade off isn't enough. I would love to not have to dig through 10 pound of flyers for a bill I don't want in the first place. How is this even legal? Isn't tampering with the mail a felony? I am not allowed to place things in my neighbors mailbox. In fact I am not allowed to open a mailbox that isn't mine. The Post Office needs to focus on delivering the mail, not the spam.
If the Post Office was privatized it would end this problem. It would also solve the lost mail and unreliable delivery times. All they need to do is raise the price of sending first class mail. It's not like they won't do that in the next few years anyway. Can you imagine having mail pickup/delivery in the morning and afternoon? The PO could then charge for a spam-free service. Imagine that world…the only thing better would a be a world where EVERYONE looked like Alessandra Ambrosio.
Posted in
Politics on November 5th, 2006
Mostly red and a little bit of blue apparently makes green. Prop 7 is on the ballot in Nevada. If it passes Nevada will be the first state to have legalized marijuana. So far I haven't heard the opposition. The only commercials that run tell the truth. They want to take the profit out of the "dealers" hands. The ballot measure states that only persons over the age of 21 will be allowed to purchase marijuana from regulated smoke shops.
The state wants to tax it. You have to remember how "green" this state really is. While Las Vegas was founded by Mormons, this state is happy to be the vice capital of the world. In Nevada, not Las Vegas, prostitution is still legal. We have gambling/gaming and more alcohol than even I can drink in a weekend. This state doesn't need a state income tax because they are able to make so much from taxing the things with the highest profits.
People smoke marijuana. There is nothing they can do to stop it. So lets regulate it and tax it. Would you buy alcohol from a guy on the street? Didn't think so. So why are still pretending marijuana is a class I drug? We need to end this prohibition and hopefully Tuesday is a step in the right direction.
BTW, Colorado has a similar measure on their ballot.
