RIP Esther "Aunt Eppie" Zafran

• Lakers are getting KG. Lakers are not getting KG. Lakers are getting Jermaine O'Neal. Lakers are not getting J. O'Neal.

• It works…but is the data correct?
• Purple or Sour?
• But I'm not German…
• Just shut up and work on the API, Mr. 

As the world awaits on this iPhone eve, I feel compelled to at least say something. I have been pretty quiet about this phone. I reluctantly posted something about it when it was first announced. It looks damn cool. It's also damn expensive. So let's take a look at all the things your $500+ (and 2 year contract) doesn't get you.

The iPhone will not have:

• Songs as Ringtones
• Games
• Any flash support
• Instant Messaging
• Picture messages (MMS)
• Video recording
• Voice recognition or voice dialing
• Wireless Bluetooth Stereo Streaming (A2DP)
• 3G (EV-DO/HSDPA)
• GPS
• A real keyboard
• Removable battery
• Expandable Storage
• Direct iTunes Music Store Access (Over Wi-Fi or EDGE)

Not that I really care about having Akon as my ringtone…but you would think the innovator of the digital music player would be able to incorporate customized rings. Right? Doesn't that one just seem…well…dumb? No games, hmm… I guess with the price they feel like they are marketing this at the biz crowd, but still games are fun while waiting for meetings to begin. Cell phone batteries die as often as gold fish, I wonder what Apple plans to do in 6 months when half of these units are "dead?" I won't get started about the lack of GPS, that's just silly and will most likely being integrated in the next version. The one lacking feature that makes this phone a deal-breaker, MMS. The inability to snap a pic and send it to my friends (or enemies) at $500 (for the 5GB) and $100 per month makes me happy I bought my Motorola Ming.

Jessica Alba wants to be thought of as an American Actress. She was born in America. Her parents were born here. She is actually of mixed decent. This is not a reason to not like her. In fact, she could carve a swastika into her forehead and burn a cross on my front yard and I would still think she is damn hot. If Jessica says she is an American Actress, I say “okay.”

Perhaps she doesn’t identify with her Latin roots. Maybe she doesn’t want to be labeled a Latina actress and feel like she got the roll based solely on that. Regardless of her background, she looks amazing in a bikini…and that is why you should love Jessica Alba.

In other hot girl news, Megan Fox is beginning to look harsh. She shouldn’t have injected her lips like that. They were fine the way they were. At least next time, don’t ask for the Jenna Jameson special.

Entertainment Weekly has selected Angelina Jolie, Hayden Panettiere, Justin Timberlake, Rihanna, Harry Potter and Julie Roberts as some of the biggest stars this summer.

• It's working, it's working, it's working!!!
  
• Porterhouse for Ansley's Bday.
• Kobe is a drama queen. Please stop bitching!
• Matt is here!
• Who got the OG and the Bubba? You just rocking the Trainwreck and the Urkle?

I don't need to explain to the billions of (daily) readers that I am a die hard Lakers (and Kobe) fan. I have stuck with them (him) through the good: 3 championships, scoring titles, 81 point games, and the bad: not winning a playoff series in 3 years, departure of Shaq, an alleged rape case, rarely in-sync with the rest of the team, etc…

On Wed, May 30th, 2007, Kobe said "I would like to be traded, yeah," on 1050 ESPN Radio in New York, hosted by Steven A. Smith. Later that day, Kobe told AM570, the Lakers Radio Syndicate in LA, that he "would like to be a Laker for life. " An hour later, he told the LA Times, "I would like to be traded."

Over the the next 24 hours, (hmm coincidence?) Kobe had brought all of the sports attention upon himself. I didn't blog it. I didn't really give it much thought. I figured he was mad at the front office. Supposedly, some "insider" said he was responsible for driving Shaq away. Steven A. Smith asked Shaq and he said "no way, it was 100% Buss." But let's not forget Kobe said "I should have paid her off, like Shaq does" to the detectives when being interrogated for alleged rape. That's the kind of guy he is.

Yesterday, reports of Kobe meeting with Dr. Buss (Lakers owner) in Spain took place and Kobe said he is adamant on being traded. This morning, MSNBC reported Kobe had "bloged" about wanting to be traded. I went to KB24.com and clicked on the news. A post, dated, June 17th, 2007 reads "The Truth: A new road ahead." What I find particularly interesting (infuriating) is this post is from May 30th. How do I know? I read it…on May 30th. If you look at the second paragraph, the line "this week to have someone 'inside' the Laker organization try to blame me in the media for us not being a contender right now.." indicates "this week." That Lakers insider thing happened the week of May 30th, before Kobe spoke on the radio. That's what started all this, remember?

So Kobe decided to up his drama. He woke up on Father's Day, did what ever Kobe does on Sunday morning, and then changed the date of an old blog post to today. I wonder if he called the Associated Press himself? This ridiculous (ridonkulous) PR Campaign is so narcissistic it's as if Kobe is dating Spencer Pratt. Seriously, doode! If you want the world to talk about Kobe, go drop 81. Take the Lakers to the finals, like the old days. Win a Championship. Actually play in the Olympic qualifying games you committed to this summer. Start a charity. Recycle aluminum. Pick up cigarette butts. Go do something constructive. Please stop bitching…every day…about being traded. Please stop being the douche of every day!

The Wash is possibly the greatest movie ever made. Let me rephrase that. The Wash is the greatest movie ever made. Starring Dr Dre, Snoop Dog, George Wallace, and DJ Pooh, the laughs are non-stop. While you might not love the Wash on your first couple viewings, you must give it time. One day you will understand the irony of the most notorious gangsta rappers, "playin." You will realize the ability set forth to "keep it real" is of Shakespearean caliber.

I am not kidding. I love this movie for everything it is…and everything it is not. If you haven't seen it, rent it or buy it immediately and get ready to be mesmerized by "The Wash."

"You better bring me my chips, with dip…cause you delinquent!"

• Shakira and Avril are hanging out (is nice…I like)

• Jessica Alba is ridonkulously hot
• Cameron Diaz still has a great ass
• Megan Fox has a lot of tattoos. She is so hot!
• Britney Spears is still disgusting

You crunk? I be chillin like a villain, smokin da dank. Get blunted from the bubba kush and grand daddy ppurp. Abt to roll a phatty on the purole urkle. Time to smoke a blizzy in da hizzy. We be crunk! Peace.

Happy Father's Day, Dad!