“Tara Reid knocked on the door, stumbled into the room and slured ‘are all you guys staying here? You’re all so ghetto!’”

T.Martinez

Click here to check it out.

It’s nice to see this putz have technical problems. Maybe he should be nicer to Avril.

• Hyatt on Sunset aka “The Riot House” here we come
• Team USA took care of business, beating Argentina by 15. That was their closest game so far.
• Work, work, work, work, work, work, work, blog, work, work, laundry, work, work, work, work.
• David Beckham is in the stage of his career where he falls over and cries. Then he sits on the bench for at least 6 weeks. Check out the photo byline, word up lil Moloshok.
• If you spend your life hating gay people, it ONLY means one thing. Mark Foley, Ted Haggard, and Larry Craig have proven this to be true. I wonder if Bill Luffa OReilly is next. It’s only a matter of time. He is gayer than the rainbow. Single, feminist, loud-mouth, 40-something Ann Coulter is definitely a transgender, which would explain her anti-feminist views. Blogger Debbie Schlussel is surely in the closet. She is gayer than Perez Hilton on a gay pride float.

Here is Shitney Spears new song. It’s all over the internet but I figured I could test out this new flash mp3 player.

Enjoy. This is for you, Kim!

Net Authority is an idealistic website that has made it their mission to patrol the Internet. They have no actual authority, but that hasn’t stopped them from compiling a database full of offensive sites.

According to Net Authority’s website:

1. Thou shalt not post pornographic material.
2. Thou shalt not post hateful material.
3. Thou shalt not post blasphemous material.
4. Thou shalt not post materials of an offensive political nature.
5. Thou shalt not post materials concerning bestiality, including interracial relationships. God did not intend for different species or races to intermingle sexually. Any content that contradicts this natural law, directly or indirectly, is strictly forbidden.

I love their explanation of #5. Net Authority has banned Google, The Christian Science Monitor, GetReligion, Wikipedia, Conservepedia, Digg and yours truly, What Da Phuk! I am so happy to be blocked by Net Authority. They have done such a fantastic job blocking me by including a link to my site.

Net Authority is clearly a joke. The owners might be crazier than a fish with titties, and, like R Kelly, not quite realize what they are doing constitutes humor and satire. It doesn’t matter. If someone told you Picasso thought he was a realist, would it change his art? Net Authority is awesome and I am proud to have offended them – I am in good company.

Early tomorrow morning, August 28th, at approximately 2:00am PDT, we will have a total lunar eclipse. Check out NASA’s lunar eclipse page.

For a few hours, the moon is going to glow a crazy orange color. This is dope. I was planning on going to bed early…but I think I need to watch this instead.

“…and everything under the sun is in tune –but the sun is eclipsed by the moon. “

This marks the most blogs ever in any given month. w00t w00t!

August 2007 (26) and counting. Still got 5 days to go.

• Team USA is beating their opponents by an average of 52 points.
• Heidi Montag’s song is surprisingly not that bad. It’s not good, but it’s not terrible. Britney Spears’ new song is phuking horracious. That’s for you, Kim!
• Did I hear something about Mastros on Thursday?
• Talib Kweli dropped Eardrum on Tuesday. I saw it at Best Buy while buying Trapped in the Closet: Chapters 13-22
• As I was waiting for my car at the car wash, I threw the plastic wrapper from the top of my Snapple onto a tree I was standing near. It immediately started to rain.

I received more complaints per day about not having comments on the old site than I do acutal comments. The comments are back, people! Where the phuk are the comments?

Since I haven’t heard any of 50’s album, Curtis, I can’t really say nuttin, but Kanye’s Daft Punk sample Only Stronger is sick. Is he about to force fity into retirement?

Can’t we just have one day where George Bush doesn’t do or say anything horrible? Just one…

Bill O’Reilly likes to cheat on his wife. He often mistakes a luffa for a falafel.

Happy Birthday, Kobe.

Fluff and Fold on Venice and Jasmine should change their name to shrink and destroy.

Peace, I’m outta here!

It took 51 days to pass pretty much the exact same budget Schwarzenegger proposed earlier this summer. Here is a quick recap: source

Winners

Schools: No cuts; spending is increased to $57.2 billion.

Prisons: More than $500 million in new spending after court-ordered prison medical care is improved.

Privatization advocates: The state agency that backs student loans is privatized, creating nearly $1 billion in revenue.

Yacht owners: Forgives sales tax on newly purchased boats kept out of state for 90 days.

Losers

College students: State university fees rise as much as 10%.

Commuters: Nearly $1.3 billion in gasoline taxes is shifted from local transportation projects to the state general fund.

Low-income Californians: Cost-of-living increases for the elderly and disabled are delayed.

What Da Phuk is going on in this world that our State Senators and Governator are discussing yachts during a State budget meeting? These are the people that need financial amnesty? OMG, the poor yacht owner…had to pay sales tax on a boat that isn’t even in the state. My violin is playing the saddest song. We’ll just make the cost of college even more unattainable from the poor people so the yacht owners can finally catch a break… Well, they need one from all that yachting. How many yacht owners are there in the world? This Country? This State?

This is so fucking offensive I can’t even type it with a ph. What the FUCK is going on? How can we give yacht owners a break while polarizing this State to a brink one hundred times more severe than the peter principal? How is this protecting the children? We are creating a society of morons that won’t even be capable of cleaning my yacht.