• The Lakers are 1st in the West
• It hasn’t been that long since I was last in Tarzana. It sure has changed.
• It’s hot it’s cold. Hot. Cold. Hot. Cold. All in the same day.
• There are too many music festivals this summer. I can’t keep up.
• I consider myself an average bowler. I usually wind up in the 127 range. My form is crap and I know I am not utilizing speed or spin. Here’s the thing I don’t understand. How the phuk do professional bowlers not ALWAYS bowl a 300? I can’t for 1 minute believe the “oil on the lane” is so drastically different roll to roll it puts them on tilt. No one is playing defense. No one is throwing HGH powered curve balls. It’s a phuking bowling lane. 10 pins. Your bowling ball. Knock them down, professional bowler. I am calling you all out. I am going to bowl a perfect game. And then I am going to laugh at all of you.

The definition of Coolness

With 35 37 blog posts this has been by far my most prolific blogging month. With 6 days left to go in an already short month, I must say I feel a lot like Kobe Bryant. I have broken my own personal record and I don’t even have to play the 4th. But I will. Stay tuned.

1. The Lakers roll to their 7th straight win. Wed’s game against the Suns was just the beginning of the goodness to come.
2. Avril’s Maxim pictures are amazing. Apparently the editors were too busy looking at them to actually listen to the Black Crowes album they were reviewing.
3. Shooting and Bowling.
4. Two new tats.
5. Moving everything to Lighttpd + FastCGI

I recently called Hillary Clinton a douche bag bitch. That was wrong. She is phuking douche bag cunt. She is disgusting. She stands for absolutely nothing. She ran on her husband’s coattail to become a Senator in a Democratic state. She is supposed to be strong because husband cheated on her?

During Thursday’s debate, she attacked Obama for using parts of a speech his co-chair and good friend, Deval Patrick, wrote with him. That’s like saying Nixon used to steal speeches from Ben Stein. You can’t steal from the person helping you write the speech. Just phuking end it, you tyrannical Dick Cheney in a pants suit. I wonder who penned the line “change you can Xerox?” We all know she didn’t write it. I wish this reptilian space roach would remove her face and go back to her home planet. Maybe the Scientologists are right….because Hillary Clinton is definitely the spawn of Xenu.

If you have to vote for a Hilary[sic] make it a Duff. Otherwise, Obama 08!

And YES, I would vote for McCain before I would ever vote for Hillary Clinton. I would also vote for Jeb Bush, Mike Tyson, Che Guevara, Ronald Regean, Santa Clause, Mighty Mouse, Mickey Mouse, Stalin, and Ron Artest before I would ever vote for Hillary Clinton.

Even though I haven’t seen any of the movies nominated for Best Picture, I still know how the Academy votes. Here are my predections:

Best Picture

• Atonement
• Juno
• Michael Clayton
• No Country for Old Men
• There Will Be Blood

Best Director

• Joel & Ethan Coen   No Country for Old Men
• Paul Thomas Anderson  There Will Be Blood
• Tony Gilroy  Michael Clayton
• Jason Reitman  Juno
• Julian Schnabel  The Diving Bell and Butterfly

Best Original Screenplay

• Juno
• Michael Clayton
• Ratatouille
• Lars and the Real Girl
• The Savages

Best Adapted Screen Play

• Atonement
• Away From Her
• No Country for Old Men
• The Diving Bell and the Butterfly
• There Will Be Blood

Best Actress

• Ellen Page   Juno
• Julie Christie  Away From Her
• Marion Cotillard  La Vie En Rose
• Cate Blanchett  Elizabeth: The Golden Age
• Laura Linney  The Savages

Best Actor

• George Clooney   Michael Clayton
• Daniel Day-Lewis  There Will Be Blood
• Johnny Depp  Sweeney Todd
• Viggo Mortensen  Eastern Promises
• Tommy Lee Jones  In The Valley of Elah

With the recent news of Castro – who is most likely deceased — stepping down after 49 years of dictatorial power, Hollywood liberals are showing their support for Fidel and his regime.

“..was the eight most important hours of my life.” Steven Spielberg (possibly false)

“He [Castro] is a genius. We spoke about everything.” Jack Nicholson, Daily Variety 1998

“Socialism works. Cuba might prove that. I think it’s conclusive that there have been areas where socialism has helped to keep people at least stabilized at a certain level.” Chevy Chase,  Earth Day 2000 in Washington D.C

The more I research this, the more I find these quotes to be taken out of context. Calling Hitler a genius isn’t showing support. Having dinner with Ahmadinejad and saying it was the greatest 8 hours of my life…well that’s crazy talk.

Che Guevara, Castro’s right hand man (during the revolution and rise to power) and author of Guerrilla Warfare, has become a cultural icon. I am supposed to chalk this up to “adolescent revolutionary romanticism.”  Business analysts have postulated “the admiration for El Che no longer extends to his politics and ideology. It’s a romantic idea of one man going to battle against the windmills, he’s a Quixote.”

Celebrities like Jay Z, Mike Tyson, Madonna, Johnny Depp and Carlos Santana have sported a picture of this iconic figure. There is a restaurant down the street named Che (with his pic on the wall). But why? What has Che done for Cuba? For liberalism? For socialism? For communism? How can “the Democrat” party support such a slap in the face of democracy? Che literally wrote the book on guerrilla war. It means no rules. Everything goes. It’s brutal. It’s worse than anything George Bush has done.

I can’t imagine what would happen if GW tried to extend to a 3rd term. Especially if he did it through the use of force. Are we at such a loss for actual heroes that we admire anyone who remotely stands for the uprising and independence of the people? Do their tactics and eventual outcome not mean anything? Cuba is not free. Cuba is not democratic nor liberal. Maybe I have been in Texas for too long (the restaurant is down the street in Dallas, TX) or maybe the Hollyweird liberals are just a bunch of pink commie bastards.

“Viva la revolucion”

1. NBA All-Star Weekend 08 was great. Too bad Sunday’s game took a back seat to the Superman show Dwight Howard put on the night before. Even Friday’s Rookie game was more “fun.”
2. 2 Douche Bags, One Bucket!
3. Nope. Haven’t gone there yet. Haven’t had time.
4. Eating Healthy, Cardio and Lifting. It’s a way of life. Focus, Believe, Resilience
5. There is no way The Hottie and the Nottie is any worse than Gigli. Christine Lakin co-stars in it. That already makes it better.

I pushed on the over/under. The handicappers really saw that one coming. Although, East +5.5? You have 3 Celetics, 3 Pistons, Chris Bosh, Dwight Howard and King James.

1. eBay sellers are planning a week long boycott due to a recently policy change in eBay’s feedback system. Sellers are no longer allowed to leave negative feedback for buyers who have paid. If you are a douche bag seller who automatically gives bad feedback to buyers who have not received an item after paying for it and complained, your deparcher from eBay is welcomed. And please don’t come back.
2. What does it mean to be a “conservative?” Seriously, explain it to me. Come on. I am waiting. It’s my understanding ”conservatives” are conserving the “family values” of the 1950s. So please get back in the kitchen and explain to me your definition.
3. Ticketmaster is allowing users to scalp their tickets directly on their site. Is this even legal? Why is no one able to break up this monopoly?
4. The Clintons seem to be crying, a lot. Maybe Ali G is right. Hillary Clinton is too emotional to be president. Hilary Duff, on the other hand, is just right. Vote Hilary 08!
5. Every time some psychopath shoots up school, my civil are rights are threatened. If you are serious about gun control, go after the gun companies. Stop them from making weapons. Hold them accountable. Sue them out of business. Invent a time machine and stop the discovery of gun powder. Just stop threatening my 2nd amendment right. In a perfect world it’s hugs and flowers. In your world, cops and criminals have guns.