Dear Cox Cable,

I have been a customer for the past 5 months. I am very happy with your service. I switched from DirecTV after being terribly disappointed with their consistently scrambled signal — which would cause their receiver to freeze. Your dual-tuner DVR works as promised and never misses a show.

I consider myself one of your "premier" customers. I have the full platinum package; 2 DVRs, 1 standard box, and the NBA season pass. I pay you a decent amount of money per month and I am happy to do so. You recently made upgrading one of my DVR boxes to the HD box very easy. Within 12 hours, I had a brand new 8300 HD. We will get to the fact you can't start a recording program from the beginning, in a different email. Over all, I am very happy with you.

On Saturday, November, 25th I purchased the on-demand movie The Break Up. Your on-demand service quickly started the program and the remote ordering couldn't be an easier. It's like having Spectra Vision in my house and the movie is only $3.95. I am currently working on a web development project and I choose this light comedy as the perfect background entertainment.

I didn't laugh. I didn't laugh once. I would often take a quick break from W3 complaint XHTML code and rewind the movie. I thought perhaps I missed something. Perhaps I wasn't paying enough attention to the ubber-funny Vince Vaughn. Did you miss-categorize this movie? You have it listed as a comedy. I didn't laugh. I didn't laugh once. There wasn't one joke. For 105 minutes the thought of table-less XHTML using CSS was more entertaining and humorous. Especially if you think of the irony of having to place the float:right element before the float:left. Talk about silly semantic placement in the DOM. Ha Ha. Yeah, that's my point. The Break Up was so unfunny that I lost my sense of humor.

I would like for you to refund my money for this atrocious movie. While it will be easy for you to just credit me the $3.95 so I can purchase a good movie, it will be impossible for you to give me back that 105 min. I hope that over time my sense of humor will be restored. I would like for you to please send me some free movie passes so I can go see Borat 105 consecutive times. Hopefully that will restore the egregious damage to my psyche that was caused by The Break Up.

Sincerely,

phuker#1