“You’re not the voice of this generation of this decade…with all the auto tuning on your records you are barely the voice on your own albums.”

According to my brother, the brooklyn king of space roaches, I am a super douche. I am not just any douche. I am the a combination of Criss Angel and Jared Leto. I guess I am pretty self-deprecating and masochist because I find it pretty funny. I’m pretty damn proud of it. It’s doucharific!

Update: I am now the proud owner of crissleto@super-douche.com

Everyone that attemps to see Douche Blaine perform his non-magic trick is upset by the fact that Blaine isn’t actually hanging there for 60 straight hours. He takes about 3 breaks per hour. This has to be the worst “trick” of all time.

David Blaine and Criss Angel need to have a douche off. They should make each other disappear, forever. Since neither one of them is an actual a magician, Angel will most likely set his hair on fire and scream into the camera, while Blaine climbs a telephone tower and stands there for 45 minutes.

The only thing these two have successfully made disappear is my love for magic. It’s a shame that Copperfield is busy coercing women to his island and is no longer interested in yearly specials.

So now we are stuck with these two. At least bring back Gob Bluth.

“These aren’t tricks, Michael…they’re ILLUSIONS!”