"If Kobe throws arms and elbows inadvertantly and gets suspended… WHY IN THE HELL HASN'T MUTOMBO BEEN SUSPENDED??? HE'S BEEN DOING THAT SINCE 1992!!!!!!"

-ghettosoul ESPN Message Board

Some might say I am data-mining the What Da Phuk! keyphrases, in the raw Apache logs files, to better understand my current SE placement and improve my GPR and Alexa reach. Others might call it a blogger's narcissistic look in the proverbial mirror of the Internet. Either way, I found out that I rank for the phrase "Kobe and Shaq." The log files fail to tell me what position and actually fail to say in which Engine. Instead of running this through a site analysis tool, I threw the phrase in the Google toolbar and manually read the SERPs.

What Da Phuk! does not rank on the first 3 pages of Google (for Kobe and Shaq). But on the 3rd page, 7th position (at time of post), the Yahoo! Answers question caught my eye. "Yahoo! Answers - Who do you love more? Shaq or Kobe?" As any true Lakers fan, I clicked the link to read the answers. I figured there would be a really well thought-out debate, with at least 60% leaning towards Kobe — considering he has been playing team ball, avg 27.9, 5.3, 5.6, and the Lakers have the 3rd best record in the league. Well…let's look at the answers.

1. Kobe he is great he puts up buckets allllll dayyyyy! Shaq is getting old and is sore a lot. Kobe can really take it to the whole
2. neither
3. they both are tools but at least shaq ain't a rapist
4. Sorry… Neither!
5. i love to hate them both!!
6. None
7. Neither, but I hate Kobe just slightly less than I hate Shaq.
8. kobe makes me want to punch him in his face…his look and his personality…ahh id like to punch him a million times he is such a jerk!…so i guess shaq is my pick
9. Hi Glenn Kawesch here,I like Dirk Nowitski better.Thanks,Glenn Kawesch
10. Kobe is a greedy ball hog. shaq is OK he gets more assists thought
11. Neither, but I think Kobe is learning (finally!!) how to be a better teammate. Kobe has a lot to learn from Steve Nash.
12. there both not the greatest but i would choose SHAQQ

You have to truly respect the top/best answer chosen by the asker: "Kobe he is great he puts up buckets allllll dayyyyy! Shaq is getting old and is sore a lot. Kobe can really take it to the whole" I really like his spelling, especially of whole[sic].

That one is good but my favorite answer is "Kobe is a greedy ball hog. shaq is OK he gets more assists thought." Kobe is currently #21 in Assists, out of 450 players in the league. Considering Shaq has played in (literally) 3 games this season, it's hard to accurately compare, but let's do it anyway. Shaq is avg 14.0, 7.5, 1.3. Yeah, that's hardly much more than Kobe. I guess this poster did end that answer with "thought" or did he/she mean though with a preceding comma? However you look at it, it is clearly wrong. Even if we look at the career stats, Kobe is at 4.5 and Shaq is at 2.8.

Is this what we are getting out of the Web 2.0 information boom? Social networking may have linked us together, turning 6 degrees into 1, but it seems our information is suffering. Are we being subjected to a world-wide game of telephone? This is just one, trivial in the scheme of things, example, but this wasn't a question about Sponge Bob. Maybe it was the phrasing of the question? Perhaps it was the emotional tone from the word love that detracted from any real answers? Or is Web 2.0 just allowing garbage to be passed off as actual information? Yeah, I think we are in trouble — this is Yahoo! Answers. I'll be in my bomb shelter waiting for the crash.

"Someone should tell the Lakers' perimeter defenders that Luther Head [Houston Rockets] is right handed, and plans to stay that way for the remainder of the game!"

 -Bill Walton

I am a fan of the entire NBA. I will watch the Heat play Sac. I like watching Dallas Vs Suns. Cleveland Vs Houston is always a great match up. I try not to post like a homer. In my weekly top 5 I will express excitement like a fan. But when I really post about basketball, I try to stay truly object and accurate. I love the NBA and I would not disrespect it by claiming "my team" is the best….unless they are.

The Lakers are the best team in basketball. They beat Utah. Let me rephrase that. They took a shit on Utah. Kobe had what will go down as one of the best quarters in all of basketball. 30pts, 9 - 9 from the field. Perfect from the line. Tonight, they beat up on the Spurs. They used the last 5 minutes of the third quarter to go on 24 - 6 run. They showed the league they can compete, with the best. They are the best. They have the second best record in the league. Right behind the Spurs.

Many will say the season is too young to really say who is the best, especially since the Lakers have yet to go out on the road. That will be their true test. It won't matter. They are ready. They are playing as a team. Kobe is rising to the occasion when necessary. Lamar has been playing consistently, for the most part. I don't know what that turnover was against the Hornets. That's Lamar sometimes though.

Jordan Farmar and Andrew Bynum are playing like developed veterans. Sure they are still rough around the edges but so is Kwame. Kwame has been working hard and it shows. Luke finally developed into the versatile guard/forward Phil saw him as. He is the facilitator. Turiaf always brings it especially while dancing on the sidelines. Mo Evans was a huge surprise. We got him for nothing and he is a huge spark when needed.

I love this team and I have every reason to.

They are the best. I am calling it right now…

Lakers/Cleveland Final…and I will be at every LA game.

I am not talking about the show on Fox. I just saw a commercial for NBA 2007 for PS2. It's Kobe's game. I was sitting here blogging and I heard the voice. I screamed "Izzo," probably waking up most of neighbors. Kobe narrates the commercial and you see the video game version Izzo rocking the two four.

Oh shit, basketball is starting. The Lakers are coming to Vegas in 3 weeks. Basketball starts in a month.

You ready? I am!

I can't believe Kobe is not going to be wearing #8. Does this mean his game is going to be 3 times as good. Is that even possible?

In the last 2 days I have learned the hardway that butterfly knives can cut you. These aren't bad cuts. I didn't lose a finger or anything. These cuts didn't even require stitches. They aren't a big deal, but you should remember they can cut you. I am pretty G with butterfly knives. But even a G can get cut sometimes. So be careful and play with them often.

It’s Thursday…already? Where did this phuking week go? I have been so busy with contract work that we are just going to pretend today is Kobe’s bday (not yesterday). I have been up to 6ish(am) pretty much every night this week. I seriously can’t believe it’s already Thursday.

Happy 28th Bday Izzo from all your friends @ What Da Phuk!

I am happy to say Team USA is kicking ass. I have watched every game and they are playing superb. I like the time schedule of international basketball.

Sometimes we just have to do it. We have to do what ever it is we do to get the bills paid. Some people mow lawns. Some people make sandwiches. Some people sell houses

How in the world did Kobe Bryant fall to #4 on the official results

I waited until the end of the series to talk about the greatest game of all time.

• Kobe Drops 81

• Kobe Drops 81
• Kobe Drops 81
• Kobe Drops 81
• Kobe Drops 81

There aren’t many words to describe what happened tonight. Kobe dropped 81 pts. Second only to Wilt’s 100 point game. I thought I saw the best of it when Kobe took a shit on Dallas, handing them 62 pts. While he was able to accomplish that feat in only 3 quarters, tonight was one for the ages.

Growing up in the 80s/90s I was able witness some of the greatest players to ever play. Magic, Michael, Dominique, Larry, Isaiah were the best of the best. However, Kobe Izzo Bryant is on level of his own. I feel unbelievably fortunate to be able watch this unfold. This season is turning out to be an amazing one. I know Basketball isn’t a one man game. Phil knows it, and yes Kobe knows it. But when the rest of the team doesn’t play like they know it,