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I Feel Slightly Traumatized

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After watching “Lana Del Rey” a.k.a Lizzy Grant, daughter of ultra rich NY businessman Robert Grant, perform on SNL I was left with a feeling I hadn’t felt before. I now believe it is a form of PTSD. Yeah, it was that bad.

Now I totally understand that most artists, especially new ones, don’t do well on SNL. It’s been notorious for bad acoustics since the beginning. It also separates the Kanye Wests and Linkin Parks from Ashlee Simpsons & Ke$has.

From dlisted

Lana sounded like a Japanese person trying to sing in English with a German accent. I’m sure that what came out of her mouth is not unlike the sounds that come out of a walrus’s mouth when it’s doing high school theater vocal exercises.

Lana is supposed to be some new kind of artist. Removed by the record labels from her typical young girl, pop sound, she has been reinvented as a “gangsta Nancy Sinatra” that sings about James Dean and Video Games. Yeah, that shit cray.

I’ll give her another chance but I think she should pay for my PTSD therapy and meds.

Saw It Hated It

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This past year I took the easy way out and said I hated every movie that I saw. Well that’s not exactly true. I liked a few of them. However I hated most, especially the movies everyone claimed to love.

Horrible Bosses is one of the worst, most unfunny movies I have ever seen. It’s a poorly developed story with pseudo characters that try to kill each others bosses. Jennifer Aniston looked great, and that’s the only thing I liked in the biggest “comedy” of the year. I didn’t laugh once, both in the theater and at home.

Bridesmaids wasn’t as bad as Horrible Bosses but it was pretty horrible itself. When the best part of your movie is grown women shitting in the street while wearing an expensive wedding dress, do I even need to continue my explanation?

Hangover 2 was widely dismissed by most as just a darker repeat of the first. Enjoyable, due to our love for Todd Phillips and the cast, but definitely not nearly as likable. It wasn’t till I watched again that I realized it’s actually a terrible movie in disguise. It’s mean spirited and lacks any humor on its own. All of the “jokes” are self references to the first movie. I have high hopes for the third one because anything will be better than that piece of poop.

So that’s what I clearly remember hating. As for liking, I remember Attack the Block & Harold and Kumar 3D. The former was an awesome take on an urban (london) alien invasion movie. The latter was just perfect stoner movie fun. That’s honestly the only movies I can remember liking the whole year. I have yet to see Hugo & Dragon Tattoo. I saw Moneyball last night so I will consider that a mediocre like of 2012. I saw Mission Impossible 4 on Jan 1st so it counts as my 2012 worst movie of the decade but I’ll probably block it out by this time next year. Anyway…

Since I can’t be remembering shit and hate everything, here’s Quentin Tarantino’s movie picks of 2011.

Quentin Tarantino’s Top 11 2011 Movies

1. Midnight in Paris
2. Rise of the Planet of the Apes
3. Moneyball
4. The Skin I Live In
5. X-Men: First Class
6. Young Adult
7. Attack the Block
8. Red State
9. Warrior
10. The Artist / Our Idiot Brother (tie)
11. The Three Musketeers