The definition of Coolness

Get yours today!

Finally, a Hilary we can all get behind! Thank you, KB.

No Radiohead. No Sex Pistols. No My Bloody Valentine. No Bowie.

BUT…

Roger Waters is performing Dark Side of the Moon.

Flub, we going?

I am only partially interested in the first night. Not enough to drive down to Indio CA.  Seeing: Raconteurs, The Breeders, Fatboy Slim and the National live would be aight. The second night is far more tempting: Death Cab for Cutie, Rilo Kiley, Sasha & Digweed and Portishead. But that’s still not Coachella convincing. Even thought it would prob be cool to see The Streets, and My Morning Jacket. Who gives a flying phuk? Roger Waters is closing Coachella with Dark Side of the Moon.

The thought of dealing with Coachella…but how can I miss this?

Read the rest of this entry »

IMDB lists Bryan Spears, brother of Britney and Jamie, as a co-producer of Zoey 101. Bryan Spears is definitely the father of Jamie’s baby. He has to be. That would be the most terrific twist in what has been the most facinating fall from grace. The Spears family some how managed to out do the Hiltons and Lohans in 07.

Wouldn’t this be the best story of the year?!? How phuked up will this kid be? This is so crazy, it has to be true.

When this shit hits the tabloids, remember where you heard it first.

Bryan Spears is a co-producer of Zoey 101. Bryan Spears is the father of Jamie Lynn Spears baby.

As Snoop would say “CHURCH CHUUUUCH!!!”

Q. What are you doing?
A. Writing code

Q. What should I get you for Christmas?
A. A video card, Lakers Tickets

Q. What are you doing this Saturday?
A. Watching the band Marvelous perform at the Cat Club on Sunset.

Q. What are you doing on Sunday?
A. Watching Lakers/ Football and going to Wu.

Q. What are you doing for New Years?
A. I haven’t decided yet. Inhaling Leroy Jenkem.

Q. Are the Lakers playing well?
A. Yes!

Q. Having you been betting?
A. Not really. I had a nice streak happening but Hatton blew it.

Q. How are you feeling?
A. Crunk

Q. What are you currently thinking about?
A. Kristen Bell

How does it feel to be nominated for 6 Grammys?

• The Wu Tang are performing on Dec 23rd at the House of Blues on Sunset.
• The handicappers at Sportsbook.com have Hilary Clinton at 1 - 3. Obama is distant second at 7 - 2. These are the handicappers talking. When do these guys get it wrong?
• Fred Thompson and Al Gore are both 4 - 1.
• Despite their 4 - 10 record, the Miami Heat will definitely become a playoff team.
• Ingrid Newkirk is terrifying. She is a child throwing temper tantrums. Animal abuse is gross, she is far more disgusting.
• Don’t ever bet on a team under .500. They are too unpredictable.
• It is acceptable to bet the over on two teams under .500(NBA). Neither team plays any D.
• Stubhub is wonderful. Despite its draconian fees.
• I am rewriting my betting software in Python.
• It’s impossible to want to trade Lamar when he goes 19 & 17. I wholeheartedly support www.tradekwame.com.

transcend  - verb

1. to rise above or go beyond; overpass; exceed: to transcend the limits of thought; kindness transcends courtesy.
2. to outdo or exceed in excellence, elevation, extent, degree, etc.; surpass; excel.

This is the most disgusting yet fascinating thing I have seen on the interwebs. It came from the smoking gun so I trust it’s authenticity. As of Friday, Snopes was claiming this was unverified. As of now, Snopes has this listed as false. Who should I believe? I have to go with smoking gun, cause it’s much more fun to think there are kids passing out from the smell of their own fermented shit…and then wake up talking to dead people.

Jenkem aka Butthash, is produced by placing fecal matter inside a bottle. A balloon is placed on the top of the bottle and is placed in direct sunlight. After a few days of baking, fermentation occurs and causes the balloon to fill with a toxic gas. When the gas is inhaled, the user will pass out and wake up to a euphoria similar to cocaine with hallucinations as powerful as LSD and the smell of shit on their upper lip for days.

I don’t want to sound like an old man screaming about those crazy kids, but what happened to snorting cocaine to achieve a cocaine high? Call me old fashioned, but I miss the good ol days. What am I saying?! No I don’t — this is awesome! The amount of bad jokes this has provided is endless. It definitely changes the meaning of “having the bomb shit.”  

“For only a dollar a day, kids can get high on real drugs, please help.”

If these kids want to inhale their own fermented shit, it’s their right. I just really hope they make the Darwin awards before they can reproduce or we are headed for the bleak society depicted in Idiocracy.

When I talk, no one seems to listen…so I will just stop talking.