CNN has removed all “tapping” references. Thanks for the laugh

This morning I was linked to John McCain’s website via digg.com. I was amazed by the poor grammar and shitty sentence structure throughout the entire site.

This was taken directly from McCain’s site. On his page about the issues, this is what McCain has to say about Education.

“Excellence, choice, and competition in American education.”

I don’t know about you but I have a major problem with the first sentence. It’s missing the phuking VERB! Holy phuk, old dude. Who is writing and proof reading your website? Apparently it’s the kid in the back using a crayon and holding it with his entire fist.

I am tired of this retarded president shtick. Perhaps McSame shouldn’t hate the bloggers so much. Maybe if he hired some bloggers or writers his campaign website wouldn’t read like translated Chinese postcards.

Being an old, evil, rich, white, war profiteer wasn’t enough…they had to add incomprehensibly stupid to the status quo.

It’s a shame. He WAS one of the good guys in Washington. It’s kind of ironic that federal employees are required by the government to retire at 65. McCain is 72.

This is just way too funny not to post. And for my republican friends…

I’m voting democratic because I want to take all guns away from the citizens and give them Hugo Chavez. But not until we create Che Guevara day.

Republican Presidential nominee, John McCain, refused to answer if condoms are effective in the spread of H.I.V. After a 12 second pause, he responded “I’m stumped.”

I would respect him more if he took the Ann Coulter approach. She might be tits on fish crazy, but at least she is honest. I would much rather him say, “yes. I do. But I don’t give a phuk. I am NOT spending government money on giving condoms to 3rd world nations. I don’t even want to give them food. Phuk ‘em.” I would say, “wow! He is heartless, but honest.”

What’s the difference? The end result is the same. His final action says phuk ‘em. Let them phuk, get AIDS, over-populate, under-educate and malnourish their children. He just doesn’t exactly say it like that. So I’ll say it. If you want to fix the health care system while not paying another dime out of your paycheck, you better realize, “don’t phuk until you accept Christ” is the only bit of contraceptive care we are providing to 3rd world countries. We have our own health problems to fix.

…and while we are talking about it, please don’t bother me about not recycling…or compulsive littering…or not flushing my motor oil down the toilet… I don’t want to hear it. My footprint is meaningless when the head of EPA’s last job was at EXXON. You want to make a difference, do it in November. Putting your Coke can in the blue bin ain’t doing shit.

I recently called Hillary Clinton a douche bag bitch. That was wrong. She is phuking douche bag cunt. She is disgusting. She stands for absolutely nothing. She ran on her husband’s coattail to become a Senator in a Democratic state. She is supposed to be strong because husband cheated on her?

During Thursday’s debate, she attacked Obama for using parts of a speech his co-chair and good friend, Deval Patrick, wrote with him. That’s like saying Nixon used to steal speeches from Ben Stein. You can’t steal from the person helping you write the speech. Just phuking end it, you tyrannical Dick Cheney in a pants suit. I wonder who penned the line “change you can Xerox?” We all know she didn’t write it. I wish this reptilian space roach would remove her face and go back to her home planet. Maybe the Scientologists are right….because Hillary Clinton is definitely the spawn of Xenu.

If you have to vote for a Hilary[sic] make it a Duff. Otherwise, Obama 08!

And YES, I would vote for McCain before I would ever vote for Hillary Clinton. I would also vote for Jeb Bush, Mike Tyson, Che Guevara, Ronald Regean, Santa Clause, Mighty Mouse, Mickey Mouse, Stalin, and Ron Artest before I would ever vote for Hillary Clinton.

With the recent news of Castro – who is most likely deceased — stepping down after 49 years of dictatorial power, Hollywood liberals are showing their support for Fidel and his regime.

“..was the eight most important hours of my life.” Steven Spielberg (possibly false)

“He [Castro] is a genius. We spoke about everything.” Jack Nicholson, Daily Variety 1998

“Socialism works. Cuba might prove that. I think it’s conclusive that there have been areas where socialism has helped to keep people at least stabilized at a certain level.” Chevy Chase,  Earth Day 2000 in Washington D.C

The more I research this, the more I find these quotes to be taken out of context. Calling Hitler a genius isn’t showing support. Having dinner with Ahmadinejad and saying it was the greatest 8 hours of my life…well that’s crazy talk.

Che Guevara, Castro’s right hand man (during the revolution and rise to power) and author of Guerrilla Warfare, has become a cultural icon. I am supposed to chalk this up to “adolescent revolutionary romanticism.”  Business analysts have postulated “the admiration for El Che no longer extends to his politics and ideology. It’s a romantic idea of one man going to battle against the windmills, he’s a Quixote.”

Celebrities like Jay Z, Mike Tyson, Madonna, Johnny Depp and Carlos Santana have sported a picture of this iconic figure. There is a restaurant down the street named Che (with his pic on the wall). But why? What has Che done for Cuba? For liberalism? For socialism? For communism? How can “the Democrat” party support such a slap in the face of democracy? Che literally wrote the book on guerrilla war. It means no rules. Everything goes. It’s brutal. It’s worse than anything George Bush has done.

I can’t imagine what would happen if GW tried to extend to a 3rd term. Especially if he did it through the use of force. Are we at such a loss for actual heroes that we admire anyone who remotely stands for the uprising and independence of the people? Do their tactics and eventual outcome not mean anything? Cuba is not free. Cuba is not democratic nor liberal. Maybe I have been in Texas for too long (the restaurant is down the street in Dallas, TX) or maybe the Hollyweird liberals are just a bunch of pink commie bastards.

“Viva la revolucion”

1. eBay sellers are planning a week long boycott due to a recently policy change in eBay’s feedback system. Sellers are no longer allowed to leave negative feedback for buyers who have paid. If you are a douche bag seller who automatically gives bad feedback to buyers who have not received an item after paying for it and complained, your deparcher from eBay is welcomed. And please don’t come back.
2. What does it mean to be a “conservative?” Seriously, explain it to me. Come on. I am waiting. It’s my understanding ”conservatives” are conserving the “family values” of the 1950s. So please get back in the kitchen and explain to me your definition.
3. Ticketmaster is allowing users to scalp their tickets directly on their site. Is this even legal? Why is no one able to break up this monopoly?
4. The Clintons seem to be crying, a lot. Maybe Ali G is right. Hillary Clinton is too emotional to be president. Hilary Duff, on the other hand, is just right. Vote Hilary 08!
5. Every time some psychopath shoots up school, my civil are rights are threatened. If you are serious about gun control, go after the gun companies. Stop them from making weapons. Hold them accountable. Sue them out of business. Invent a time machine and stop the discovery of gun powder. Just stop threatening my 2nd amendment right. In a perfect world it’s hugs and flowers. In your world, cops and criminals have guns.