When the astronauts drank Tang, do you think they said, “Woo! That’s some damn fine Tang,” because I do. Wu-Tang; it’s what the astronauts said.

IceburgTX

“3 Weeks from today I will back in LA, with A Bubba blunt in one hand and a slice of round table in the other “

- A Brooklyn Space Roach

“Where would this nation be if the first Continental Congress convened to jot down a petition to King George but never got around to it because they got too distracted poking Betsey Ross and checking out Thomas Jefferson’s Twitter feed?”

Helen A.S. Popkin MSNBC

“Daniel Gibson goes to the same barber as Lamar Odom.”

-B.Levy

“They’ve had 35 years to reduce our dependence on foreign oil, and we still don’t have a comprehensive policy. We’ve just had a report that Lake Mead may go dry in 13 years, and they’ve done nothing to curb unsustainable growth in that region. Yet they have leisure aplently to quiz a guy who throws a baseball — a professional entertainer, for pete’s sake — about how he came by his skills. “

-Mike Celizic MSNBC

“It was a lot of back-to-the-basket stuff,” he said. “What I see here is more of a flow game that will allow me to use my quickness in the open court. I’ve got to get my offensive rhythm down. I played mostly defense in L.A. I’m going to do that also, but hopefully I can get more involved offensively.”

Kwame Brown — while completing forgetting it is his tiny hands, not speed, that is preventing him from catching the ball.

“No. I think I just got hash browns in my eyes.”

- j axelman (Raffels Cafe, Mandalay Bay, Las Vegas)

I bomb atomically, Socrates’ philosophies
and hypotheses can’t define how I be droppin these
mockeries, lyrically perform armed robbery
Flee with the lottery, possibly they spotted me
Battle-scarred shogun, explosion when my pen hits
tremendous, ultra-violet shine blind forensics
I inspect view through the future see millenium
Killa Beez sold fifty gold sixty platinum
Shackling the masses with drastic rap tactics
Graphic displays melt the steel like blacksmiths

Triumph — Wu-Tang Clan (Inspectah Deck)

That’s so ugly, it’s oooogly!

- Stu Lance

“When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn’t work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.”

-Emo Philips

“I do solemnly swear that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States.”

- George W. Bush, January 20th, 2001

“We need to win the hearts and minds by giving condoms and clean needles to school children.”

-Stephen Colbert