I recently called Hillary Clinton a douche bag bitch. That was wrong. She is phuking douche bag cunt. She is disgusting. She stands for absolutely nothing. She ran on her husband’s coattail to become a Senator in a Democratic state. She is supposed to be strong because husband cheated on her?

During Thursday’s debate, she attacked Obama for using parts of a speech his co-chair and good friend, Deval Patrick, wrote with him. That’s like saying Nixon used to steal speeches from Ben Stein. You can’t steal from the person helping you write the speech. Just phuking end it, you tyrannical Dick Cheney in a pants suit. I wonder who penned the line “change you can Xerox?” We all know she didn’t write it. I wish this reptilian space roach would remove her face and go back to her home planet. Maybe the Scientologists are right….because Hillary Clinton is definitely the spawn of Xenu.

If you have to vote for a Hilary[sic] make it a Duff. Otherwise, Obama 08!

And YES, I would vote for McCain before I would ever vote for Hillary Clinton. I would also vote for Jeb Bush, Mike Tyson, Che Guevara, Ronald Regean, Santa Clause, Mighty Mouse, Mickey Mouse, Stalin, and Ron Artest before I would ever vote for Hillary Clinton.

With the recent news of Castro – who is most likely deceased — stepping down after 49 years of dictatorial power, Hollywood liberals are showing their support for Fidel and his regime.

“..was the eight most important hours of my life.” Steven Spielberg (possibly false)

“He [Castro] is a genius. We spoke about everything.” Jack Nicholson, Daily Variety 1998

“Socialism works. Cuba might prove that. I think it’s conclusive that there have been areas where socialism has helped to keep people at least stabilized at a certain level.” Chevy Chase,  Earth Day 2000 in Washington D.C

The more I research this, the more I find these quotes to be taken out of context. Calling Hitler a genius isn’t showing support. Having dinner with Ahmadinejad and saying it was the greatest 8 hours of my life…well that’s crazy talk.

Che Guevara, Castro’s right hand man (during the revolution and rise to power) and author of Guerrilla Warfare, has become a cultural icon. I am supposed to chalk this up to “adolescent revolutionary romanticism.”  Business analysts have postulated “the admiration for El Che no longer extends to his politics and ideology. It’s a romantic idea of one man going to battle against the windmills, he’s a Quixote.”

Celebrities like Jay Z, Mike Tyson, Madonna, Johnny Depp and Carlos Santana have sported a picture of this iconic figure. There is a restaurant down the street named Che (with his pic on the wall). But why? What has Che done for Cuba? For liberalism? For socialism? For communism? How can “the Democrat” party support such a slap in the face of democracy? Che literally wrote the book on guerrilla war. It means no rules. Everything goes. It’s brutal. It’s worse than anything George Bush has done.

I can’t imagine what would happen if GW tried to extend to a 3rd term. Especially if he did it through the use of force. Are we at such a loss for actual heroes that we admire anyone who remotely stands for the uprising and independence of the people? Do their tactics and eventual outcome not mean anything? Cuba is not free. Cuba is not democratic nor liberal. Maybe I have been in Texas for too long (the restaurant is down the street in Dallas, TX) or maybe the Hollyweird liberals are just a bunch of pink commie bastards.

“Viva la revolucion”

1. eBay sellers are planning a week long boycott due to a recently policy change in eBay’s feedback system. Sellers are no longer allowed to leave negative feedback for buyers who have paid. If you are a douche bag seller who automatically gives bad feedback to buyers who have not received an item after paying for it and complained, your deparcher from eBay is welcomed. And please don’t come back.
2. What does it mean to be a “conservative?” Seriously, explain it to me. Come on. I am waiting. It’s my understanding ”conservatives” are conserving the “family values” of the 1950s. So please get back in the kitchen and explain to me your definition.
3. Ticketmaster is allowing users to scalp their tickets directly on their site. Is this even legal? Why is no one able to break up this monopoly?
4. The Clintons seem to be crying, a lot. Maybe Ali G is right. Hillary Clinton is too emotional to be president. Hilary Duff, on the other hand, is just right. Vote Hilary 08!
5. Every time some psychopath shoots up school, my civil are rights are threatened. If you are serious about gun control, go after the gun companies. Stop them from making weapons. Hold them accountable. Sue them out of business. Invent a time machine and stop the discovery of gun powder. Just stop threatening my 2nd amendment right. In a perfect world it’s hugs and flowers. In your world, cops and criminals have guns.

• You can’t have legal torture while pot is still illegal.
• This guy is married to Sports Illustrated Cover Girl Marisa Miller.
• Please leave Roger Clemens alone. This is absurd. Brian McNamee should be in prison. His used car salesman smirk is disturbing. 7 years ago he was in trouble for lying to the police during a rape case. He was a police officer at the time.
• The NBA Western Conference is so ridiculous it’s beyond ridonkulous. If the Jason Kidd deal goes through, there will be 10 teams with a chance of winning the NBA title. There are only 4 contenders in the East.
• Thanks to the Gods The Office is coming back.
• I have been in Texas for too long. Bill O’Reilly was fair and balanced tonight. Oh Jesus!
• After stopping the Jason Kidd trade from happening, Devean George shot a league worst 0 - 11. Marc Cuban must be thrilled.
• Stop telling me Miley Cyrus is pregnant while not wearing her seat belt and injecting HGH while her father posted the pics on myspace.
• Vote Hilary 08, TradeKwame, TradeLamar, KeepLamar, The Betters Edge 2.0
• Space Roach?

I have completely lost patience for stooopidity. Please do not ask me anything. Yes, it is a dumb question and I don’t have an answer for you. At least not one you want to hear.

Way back in 6th grade, a whole 17 years ago, I had a close friend that I used to let cheat off of me. I would do the homework and he would copy my answers. We were so progressive in 1991, that I would fax him my homework. We did this many times until one day, our 6th grade teacher called me to her desk. She said “you have been cheating. Your answers are the same as your ‘best friends!’” Before I could explain anything she said, “he has already told me he faxes you the answers.” That’s the kind of guy my “best friend” happened to be.

Why do I feel like I am back in 6th grade? 

• Not even 24 hours after having a quadruple bypass, my father is up and out of the ICU.
• Bynum goes down but Kobe rises to the occasion. Back to back wins, finishing off Seattle on their home floor in OT.
• Lakers are 26 & 11. That’s first in the Western Conference.
• The Clippers beat the Suns – nicely securing the Lakers first place spot.
• Marvelous is playing this Saturday at the Cat Club.
• I have not had a cigarette in 6 days.
• “You are a space rrrroach!”
• Jeremy Piven’s rant in the beginning of Kat Williams new special.
• New Starts, New Beginnings.
• LeBron had 51, 9, 8.

That’s it…I quit. Not tomorrow. Not on Monday. Not next week. Not next month. It’s not my New Years resolution. I am done smoking cigarettes.

They are disgusting. The do not add anything to my life. The actually increase my level of stress and before I know it, they will have caused enough medical complications to end my life. I have given enough money to RJ Reynolds to poison me for far too long.

I have quit before. For 4.5 years. I didn’t use the patch or the gum. I just stopped smoking. I will do the same. Cold turkey. That’s it. I am officially done smoking.

You should listen to this atheist’s reaction to angry christian hatemail.

Think about what is happening in this country. No, for once I don’t mean Bush’s evil administration. I mean the NBA. And of course, the Lakers. The NBA has done absolutely nothing to fix the referee problem. The Lakers have done nothing to fix their team. I am starting to sound like a broken record.

More and more news is not news but Fark. There was an actual story about Posh Spice dressing like Tom Cruise who was dressing like a Nazi for a movie role. I’m serious, someone penned that — and wasn’t fired for it. I am toying with the idea of creating a What Da Phuk! user generated content section. That’s like WDP 2.5 already.

I know that for years I have branded What Da Phuk! with an explanation mark just like Yahoo! It really should be What Da Phuk?! I am thinking of adding the question mark but I can’t decide if it’s necessary. I know I am really asking some deep, tough questions.

Chris Garver emailed me back. He isn’t available for appointments in LA until 2010. I guess I will be going to Miami within the next few years.

I am trying to download Fedora 7. I want to run it as my Linux OS until the new Ubuntu release. I am trying to download the 837MB torrent but my wireless keeps going out. Is this modem a piece of shit or is Time Warner packet shaping and cutting off my downloads? If they are I am going to get a couple of pipe hitting motherphukers to go medieval on their ass.

About a month ago, I mentioned that I was going to start blogging through other outlets. While this wasn’t exactly what I had in mind, it seemed like the perfect place to vent my rage. Here is my latest random rant. I am quite surprised by the amount of people who asked “you wrote this?” Just based on my use of ridonkulous, I thought it was blatantly obvious.

http://losangeles.craigslist.org/wst/rnr/428408400.html 

BTW… I think I found a programmer who finally isn’t a douche.