Since Real Time With Bill Maher is currently on summer break, someone has to define the New Rules. Anyone? OK…I’ll do it.

• You can not be Pro-Life and Pro-War at the same time. I don’t care what you say. If you are Pro-Life then you are Pro-Life. End of story. And that goes for Pro-Life / Capital Punishment people too.
• The term “fiscally responsible” must be ban from all debates. It doesn’t exist.
• The NBA must institute some type of call challenge. Just like in football. It is the only way to restore the league.
• Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears must spend all their time together. I don’t know why, I just think they should. All other celebrities would have complete freedom from the paparazzi.
• No one is ever allowed to say “Clinton lied” while trying to compare Presidents. It’s beyond redonkulous.
• Now that Jessica Alba is single she must come over to my house, immediately!