It’s not often that I truly laugh with a commercial. This is Hi-larious. In fact, I am going to start reacting the same way…and dressing the part as well.

This seriously is the entire VMAs in 2 minutes.

Like anyone from my generation, I grew up with Saved by the Bell. It’s a campy Sat morning sitcom that never really took itself all that serious, although it did sometimes try to beat you over the head with its public service message. I wonder how many members of the cast were actually high when Johnny Dakota showed up at Bayside? But that’s besides my point. So what is the point? Hold on…I’m getting there.

Zack Morris is the world’s biggest douche bag!

The last couple of mornings I have been waking up early and catching Saved by the Bell on TBS (hey, we all need a reason to get up early). It has now occurred to me that Zack is such a piece of shit he gives douche bags a bad name. Even Criss Angel would call Zack a douche before pulling an apple out of a bag and cutting his own tongue with a razor blade.

In only 2 episodes: Zack cons his friends out of money, willfully purchases cheap class rings so he can make a quick buck, sabotages his closest friends chances of writing a new school song and unsuccessfully tries to rig a cooking competition.

I don’t really care that Zack is a cheater. Zack Morris is a super douche because he is cheating and hurting his friends. He will throw anyone, and more often than not, his best friend, Screech, under the bus. He will stab you in the back and convince you to buy the knife. Zack has no loyalty and is a terrible, terrible role model. But for some reason, our generation loved Zack Morris. Zack was so loved the producers decided to give him 1590 on his SATs even though he didn’t prepare at all for the test.

With each episode I now watch, I despise Zack more and more. Even George Bush doesn’t throw his close friends into the fire like this. Zack is making croneyism look like loyality. But I guess this makes sense. America loves to idolize a monolithic douche and that is why we are now stuck with Spencer Pratt.

I think I am too old for this. After the OC, I don’t think I have patience for this anymore. I’ll check it out, but I don’t think I will last past the second episode.

Why do new episodes of The Simpsons constantly start at 7:59PM? It’s not like my clock is wrong. I am looking at the time on the cable box.  It’s pretty accurate. I remember watching a different New Years 2000 counting down on 10 different islands — it was as accurate as ol’ big ben himself. My Blackberry has the right time. So does my computer, when I actually get the Windows time to sync. So why is the Simpsons starting 1 minute early every Sunday?

This isn’t new. It’s been going on for years. The reason this is frustrating me is that I tivo (timewarner DVR) it every week. Who watches anything in real time anymore? The DVR does have an option for starting the show a few minutes early. But I am usually in a hurry to leave and I quickly set The Simpsons along with King of the Hill and the rest of the Sunday night line-up. It’s not like I can set a season pass for new Simpson episodes, with it starting a minute early. Anyone with a DVR knows that doesn’t work. You will wind up recording every 6ish and 11ish (depending on your Fox affiliate) episode that week. So I manually set it, and I usually forget that for some bizarre reason it starts early.

Normally I wouldn’t care that I missed the opening credits of a show. But any true Simpsons fan knows the opening is what it’s all about. I have completely given up on recording anything on MTV. Not only does the cable guide not match the show, they are so messed up, shows are starting 40 minutes into the hour. Comedy Central loves to run 2 minutes over and Showtime runs just about 5 minutes over (Bullshit did). I have gotten used to that.

But why on earth is The Simpsons, the longest running comedy show, starting early? I can’t figure it out. Does anyone know?

1. My friends all loved it. My family loved it. The critics raved about it. I thought 300 sucked. Perhaps I missed out by not seeing it in the theater, but I don’t think it even looked that great. It had some moments, a few decent lines in otherwise mediocre period-dialogue. It really went down hill once the dinosaur showed up. After that it was hard to take the man with crab arms seriously. I know it was it a graphic novel and that’s exactly what it felt like. Just not a very good one.
2. I have one word for Gossip Girl: SUCKED! That shit was terrible. It’s only and I repeat, only saving grace is Leighton Meester. She is one of the main characters and she’s mad hot. Hot enough to make me watch this show? We’ll see. Not if it continues at it’s current pace. I know it’s Upper East-side, rich NY Kids, but what is with those names? It’s like watching a made for cable, Cruel Intentions 4. I know they think referencing a blog on TV is so cool in 2007, but actually, no you’re waaaaaay late. What happened to Josh Schwartz and his soundtrack? He made a name for himself and The OC due to his cutting-edge hipster playlist. Angels and Airwaves and Justin Timberlake are hardly cutting edge indie sounds. For Leighton, I will give it another chance. But damn, did this shit SUCK!

For many years I have followed (not literally, that’s creepy) Leighton Meester aka Justine Chapin (Entourage, Season 1) through crappy movies and tiny cameos. I am not going to bore you with stories of her acting ability and wonderful stage presence. Here is a collage-pic of her in a bikini. This is from a 2005 NBC Show, Surface.

Leighton is starring in Josh Schwartz’s (OC Creator) new show, Gossip Girl. While in the past I talked some shit about this show and his up coming Chuck, I will have to watch tivo it for 1 reason, Leighton. I suggest you do to. I know watching a show titled Gossip Girl sounds fruitier than a neocon convention, but I am willing to give it a chance (in fast-forward). So tune in (set tivo) next Wed, 9PM on the CW (Channel 5, LA).

I know the show is going to be as awful as the final 2 seasons of the OC. I know it will probably only last a few episodes before being replaced by reruns of The Jamie Kennedy Experiment. Leighton Meester is about to break and become a big star…so remember where you heard it first.

I haven't really blogged much about TV this past year. I mentioned the OC was ending, which caused a little controversy with some Josh Schwartz fans. Just because I know believe Chuck and Gossip Girl will be as unwatchable as the last season of the OC, doesn't mean I have given up on television. There are still some shows that I hate to miss. And that is why God invented Tivo DVR.

1. Los Angeles Lakers Games
   I never miss a game, proverbial period.

2. Entourage
   The best show on TV. I don't care what you Grey's Anatomy, American Idol watching people say.
   
   
3. South Park
   It's the best cartoon ever. The Simpsons are close but no cartoon character can beat Cartman. They are getting better as the years go by. Can't say that about the Simpsons.
4. Real Time With Bill Maher
   I remember the Comedy Central days. Then 10 years on ABC. Some comments about terrorists and that marriage ended. One year later Bill found a home with HBO. Besides the Daily Show, where else can you learn about the world while laughing your ass off?
5. The Office
   Many will argue it lacks the dry humor and wit of the original British version. However Ricky Gervase is a producer and I find the show quit funny. In fact I might call it HIlarious.
6. 30 Rock
   Tracey Morgan = HILARIOUS. Tina Fey = HILARIOUS. Alec Baldwin = HILARIOUS. If you aren't watching this show you are missing out.
7. Friday Night Lights
   You are definitely not watching this show because its ratings are terrible. While the movie was mediocre at best, the show is one of the best dramas on TV. Football is only a small part of the show. Minka Kelly stars in it. What better reason is there than that?
8. Miami Ink
   A show about tattoos. It's awesome. Garver is one the best tattoo artist in the world.
9. The War at Home
   Michael Rapport and his pseudo-realistic family life. It's light hearted and raw. They are always swearing and bleeping it like South Park. The plots are funny and never drag on for half a season. It's a modern day Married with Children. Kaylee DeFer is HOT.
10. Inked
    A tattoo show based in the Palms Hotel in Las Vegas. Carey Hart owns the place and my old neighbor, Twig, works there. The show is fun but becomes a little too "reality tv" at times. Unlike Miami Ink, do these guys ever tattoo? Hart and Huntington is top tier shop and has a set a new trend of elegance in tattoo shops around the world.
11. The Hills
    Lauren = HOT. Heidi = HOT. Do I need another reason?
12. Weeds
    The first season was up and down. The second season was off the hook. All of the characters found their niche. The season finale was intense. It's much more than a show about a suburban mom who sells weed.
13. Laguna Beach
    More hot, over-privileged high school girls in bikinis. It's awesome brainless fun.
14. Arrested Development Reruns
    This show was so good even the reruns are worth watching over and over and over again.

Here are few other shows I do happen to miss and for some reason not record. I love 'em but barely watch 'em.

• Late Night with Conan
• The Simpsons
• The Daily Show
• Coulbert Report
• Jeopardy
• The Real World
• Bam's Holy Union
• Heros
• SNL
• Las Vegas

I am sure I missed a few good shows. That list should cover most of it. So set your DVRs and start watching. If only I could get this damn Timewarner DVR to boot. Phuking cable company, can you do anything right?

I am speechless…watch the video.

While Fox still won’t admit that AD is official not coming back, Peter Liguori (El Presidente de la Entertainment) said "I have to be frank with you," he remarked to the writers. "It is highly unlikely it is coming back." So keeping with their on going to desire for AD to fail, they moved it from Sunday nights to Monday to go up against Football, the 2 hour season finale (or final 4 episodes) is scheduled to go against the opening ceremonies of the Olympics — Feb 10th. Both Showtime and ABC are in negotiations to keep the show alive.

I personally would love to see the show on ABC. While Showtime will give the show 100% creative freedom, half

Donnie Carroll, the rapper-turned-actor’s childhood pal who served as the inspiration for the character Turtle (Jerry Ferrara) on HBO’s Entourage, died Sunday of an asthma attack in Boston. He was 39.

Here is a link to the mp3 of the Titos Commercial.