No more dangerous late night meetings with the Libyans in the Target parking lot. You can now order your Radioactive Uranium Ore directly from Amazon.com.

I am 100% serious. Apparently this stuff is safe for science experiments. You know, the kind of “experiments” you find in the anarchist cookbook.

Did you order some? What are you waiting for? Supplies are limited. It’s a recession, Obama is president. Order your Uranium Ore immediately. Buy 2, hurry!