It’s no secret that I am completely obsessed with 2012. This is NOT Y2K! My parents VCR blinked 12:00 for 25 years. I was certain absolutely nothing would happen at 2000. I knew that the conflicker worm was a bunch of bullshit. It had the same bullshit swagger. 2012 is much different. The Mayans didn’t just predict it, their calendar ends on it. Nostradamus wrote a lot about it. He also talked about the preceding war and collapse of the economy which lead to the fall of the great empire. The bible (old testament) has references to 2012. The bible code guys (whom are never wrong) have found that 2012 is the year….

Before I continue, I hope anyone that is reading this and knows me, or knows this blog, knows that I don’t believe a word of the bible. I do not believe anything “Nostradamus” ever “predicted.” And the Mayans??? Isn’t this a culture that played soccer with human heads? Well, who cares?! This is great fun. This is an awesome work of fiction and I love the concept of a culture being so unbelievably narcissistic they (we) honestly believe the end is NOW!

Here is a quick cheat sheet to catch you up on the fascinating 2012 meme:

• Galactic Alignment
  On Winter Solstice, 12/21/2012, we will experience galactic alignment. This pretty much happens every year. What will happen in 2012 only happens once every 26, 000 years.  The sun, the moon, and the center of the equator will perfectly align with the milky way. What will actually happen is TBD. Could this cause a solar eclipse so powerful that EMP  (Electromagnetic Pulse)  destroys everything electronic? Will it cause tidal waves? Will national parks explode as super volcanoes? All we can do is wait and see. And hope and pray for something awesome.
• Planet X/ Niburi
  A planet 20 times the size of Jupiter is headed directly towards us. Well, it’s going to pass right by us right around 12/21/2012. Due to it’s massive size, its gravitational pull is so tremendous it will cause a polarity shift in earth, essentially knocking us out of our solar system causing us to float away and die in space. Awesome!
• Timewave Zero
  This is a numerological theory that calculates time and some how it destroys the earth. I am not exactly sure and honestly…I don’t think they are either. Not so awesome.
• Final Payment
  The payoff date for my truck is 12/21/2012. If this doesn’t signify the end of time, nothing will!

So here is what I hope think will happen. Galactic Alignment along with the Niburi fly-by will cause an enormous tidal wave that will wipe out 95% of life on earth. Earth will stay covered in water for the next 400 years — all the while a new breed of subterranean life will form. New lands will emerge and life will once again crawl out of the ocean. Yeah…this is pretty much fact.

Viva 2012!