For the past few weeks, I have been saying "This is My Spoon. There is NO Other Way!" I have told a few people the definition and it is finally time to share it with the world. All 6 billion readers.

The Shaolin Monks (most likely not unique to them) have a test/training exercise they put their students through. At the bottom of the very long stairs to the temple sits a bucket filled with water. At the very top of the extremely steep stairs sits an empty bucket. The student must move the water from one bucket to another. The student must fill up the bucket on the top of the stairs…using only a spoon.

There is no shortcut. There is no other way to do this. You must walk the stairs and use only a spoon. You are going to make mistakes. Halfway up the stairs, you will lose the water. You must focus. You must concentrate. This is unbelievably difficult and unbelievably mundane.

We face many things in life that we don't want to do. There are many things in life that are boring. We face tasks that are repetitive and we are always looking for an easier way. We outsource most of the chores in life. We have maids to clean the house and gardeners to mow the lawn. As a programmer, I am constantly looking for a way to automate my life. How can I make this easier? How can I make the computer do this for me? Sometimes you just have to do it. You have to find the Zen and learn to enjoy it.

For the next 6 months, I will be facing some of the hardest challenges I have ever faced. Whether I like it or not, I must complete these tasks.

This is my spoon. There is NO other way!

My first challenge will start this weekend. After many, many hours of research I have decided to do the Master Cleanser Detox for 10 days. No Food. No Cigarettes. No Soda. No Alcohol. No Advil. No NY Diesel or Purple Kush. No Starbucks Venti Drip. Nothing for 10 days. Yes it is healthy, and yes I will be careful. This will be extremely difficult…but I must.

Update: 1/16/07
I made it to day 3 of the Master Cleanser Detox. I wasn't "hungry" but I was starting to feel like Jack in The Shining. I still believe in the benefits of the cleanse and I plan to attack it again. I will be posting a detailed journal and the reasons why I believe I could not make it past the 3rd day. You must physically train for this. I was mentally ready, not physically. You can't go from eating whatever you want, smoking a pack a day, drinking 2 venti coffees, etc…to nothing. It's practically impossible. I set myself up for failure. Halfway up the stairs, water will fall off the spoon. Go back down, fill up the spoon, focus!  

This is just humor. I laughed for 10 minutes. The only thing that would make this video any better is if PeeWee smoked the crack right after the PSA. I love that he is holding crack. Why would PeeWee even have crack? Wasn't his demographic like 5 – 8 year olds?

…it isn't glamourous, or cool, or kid's stuff!" LMAO Thanks, PeeWee! But do you honestly want me to believe that in that outfit you don't hit da pipe a lil bit? Come on P.Wee, break out da pipe and da torch and let's blaze some rock.

These motherphukers at about.com setup a site called www.allexperts.com. You will notice it subdomains off of about as you dig deeper into the site. It looks as if it is some type of "Web 2.0" user based, Wikipedish encyclopedia.

However, these phuks stole my content. They used a shitty spider to steal my content. Check out the phuked up link. They seriously took a blog post I wrote and indexed it as their own content. Besides the link, there is NO metion of this being my phuking content. I am calling shenanigans. I expect Officer Barbrady to come over to investigate this.

What is www.allexperts.com? They seem to have been acquired by about.com. They clearly link as a subdomain. But there are somethings that just don't make sense.

• There isn't a link on www.about.com to allexperts.com.
• When you search in the top search box, only clickable ads appear. This is a nice traffic arbitrage >> to pay-per-click ad technique.
• They stole my content with a spider and they didn't even get the phuking link correct.
• They are ranking higher than me, with duplicate stolen content.
• They are using cloaking to wikipedia. Check the SERP. They should be #3. Click on them. Now click back. Click the link again. See what I am talking about. They are using every tacky, shitty SEO Blackhat technique and they aren't even good at it.

Is this really about.com? Are they really behind this? Do they even know about this? Is someone using some damn clever domain spoofing and this has nothing to with about.com? What is going on? I have reported this to Google. It's time for Digg. I will find out what is going on and I will stop them from stealing my blogs.

SHENANIGANS!!!

My name Borat. I from Kazakhstan. My hometown name Kuzcek. It near Almaty – please you visit!!!

Age – for 23 harvests I have had hair on pubis.

Zodiac – lions

Alcohol/Smoking – I enjoy drink alcohols and smokings cigarette. I like – why not?

Education – I have degree from Astana University in English and plague research. I make 3 new ones. One was release in Uzbekistan and kill over 50 thousands goat.

My occupation make reportings for Kazakhstan Television. Previous I gypsy catcher and icemaker. I also have work as computer maintenance – I the one who paint it and remove dead birds from its pipes.

Apparently I am the last to know but Magic Mountain is reportedly in trouble. Six Flags took out an enormous loan in the late 90s to pay for improvements to their parks. Six Flags announced not even a month after opening Tatsu that they are contemplating selling the park to the highest bidder. Unfortunately the highest bidder(s) seems to be real estate developers.

If they were to actually close the park I would be absolutely devastated. So far it's looking good. No one wants the park to close. The city is even thinking of annexing the park into the city limits. The park creates 3000 jobs during the summer. Would anyone ever visit Valencia if it wasn't for the Mountain?

I know it's kind of a shit hole. It always has been. If you don't like real rides, there is nothing for you to do. Over the last few years they made it an Xtreme Park. Basically only teenagers want to ride these rides. Parents who used to go on Viper and Revolution are now terrified. Recent reports of gang/large groups of unsupervised kids have the parents even more worried. It's not like they can go to the park and enjoy the nice food. They have the most expensive McDonalds in the world and the only restaurant is the Moose Lodge. Everyone hates the Moose Lodge. The food is awful. They need to create some other things to do. How is THE hotel in Las Vegas able to pack the place full of children? There is nothing for kids in LV but yet their parents bring them. Vegas is still packed with a million things to do besides gamgling. Whether or not it's a kid activity, the parents come and they spend money.

That is EXACTLY what Magic Mountain needs. If Sin City can still capture families, the Mountain needs to spice it up. Let's create some nightlife. Give people a reason to buy a 2 day pass. Let's put in some big hotels. They could sure use a City Center in Valencia. Poor Valencia, it's like Barstow…without the glitz. Let's throw some glitz at it. We need a Hard Rock Valencia. Live acts, night club on Friday and Saturday. No one wants to spend $27.95 on 2 slices of pizza. But they will spend $400 on a bottle of Grey Goose. Come on MM, make it phat.

I seriously can't let the park close. I am going to do everything I possibly can. I registered the domain SaveMagicMountain.Org. I don't have anything there yet. I am working on it. I have spoken with the owner of www.savemagicmountain.com. We are going to combine our efforts because neither of us wants Magic Mountain to close!