It’s pretty phuking simple. If you don’t want to get cinnamon powder and splenda all over you, don’t sit next to the phuking trash can. I would never sit next to a trash can.

Why?

Because I don’t want to get trash all over me!

It always surprises me at the Coffee Bean on Sepulveda and Palms that someone is sitting directly next to the phuking trash can. I’m not talking near it. I am talking any closer and they are literally in it.

Why are you sitting there? Why are you making faces at me?!? Are you pissed that you got hit with the cinnamon?!? You are phuking sitting next to the trash can! The trash can is the most left part of the sugar bar. Why are you sitting so phuking close? What it is wrong with you? Did your mother stunt your emotional development when it came to taking out the trash? Actually, I don’t phuking care!!! Please phuking move.

The Starbucks on National is overrun by elves. The Coffee Bean has trash sitters. What the phuk is going on?! What it do?!

/rant