Old Shit

New Shit

Random Rant

uʍop ʇı ǝʇıɹʍ ‘dn ʇı dı1ɟ

.ǝɹǝɥʇ ʇɥbıɹ s,ʇı .buıʞɐʇ ǝɥʇ ɹoɟ sʎɐʍ1ɐ s,ʇı .ǝso1ɔ sʎɐʍ1ɐ s,ʇı .sǝɥɔuı puɐ ɥʇ4 ʎ11ɐıuuǝɹǝd .uos ‘ǝuop ʇı ʇǝb .sıɥʇ op sʇǝ1 .buıso1 ǝɹoɯ ou ¿op ʇı ʇɐɥʍ .ʍoɥsǝʞɐ1 dn ʇɐɥʍ ¿ʇɐp oɥʍ .ʇno ʇı ǝɹnbıɟ ʎ11ɐnʇɔɐ 11ıʍ oɥʍ ɹǝpuoʍ ı .ǝɹoɟǝq sıɥʇ ǝuop ʇ,uǝʌɐɥ ǝʍ .ʍǝu sı sıɥʇ

The Aimless Entourage Season

Posted on August 24, 2009

It’s going to sound very redundant to refer to Entourage as a show about nothing. The early critics always said it wasn’t really about anything. It was glorfying LA douchism. Vince was a total douche. He was in movies for his “looks” and he walked around town phuking chicks like Hank Moody.

Cript KeeperWait. Whatever…consider it revisionist clairvoyance.

Whatever is right –Vince is the least dynamic character on the show. Droz from PCU made being an agent the coolest thing on the planet. Everyone loves Drama so much HBO actually made a real Viking Quest flash game. Turtle is the homie you need to have — he comes through when everyone else can’t…and he loves to drive. And E well…he’s the most annoying (but I think that’s really Kevin Connolly seeping through) but in spite of it, the character fits.

The lavish, guest star, herb induced high-life is the current “American Dream” and Entourage has always made that 22 minutes on Sunday the most enjoyable part of the tv watching week.

So what’s the point of all this? There is none. That’s the point. Much like this past season of Entourage. 7 episodes have come and gone and all I can tell you is E likes Sloan but he wants to spend time with the crypt keeper. I don’t know what it is about this chick but she just doesn’t look right. Something is off. Waaaay off. This show is so low on ideas it’s becoming a soap opera. Vince doesn’t *need* to do anything and…well at least Jamie Lynn Sigler is hot.

Anyway. This post has just been as aimless and douchey as Entourage. w00t w00t.

It’s still one of the best shows on TV.

Then Stop Sitting Next to the Trash Can

Posted on July 13, 2009

TrashIt’s pretty phuking simple. If you don’t want to get cinnamon powder and splenda all over you, don’t sit next to the phuking trash can. I would never sit next to a trash can.

Why?

Because I don’t want to get trash all over me!

It always surprises me at the Coffee Bean on Sepulveda and Palms that someone is sitting directly next to the phuking trash can. I’m not talking near it. I am talking any closer and they are literally in it.

Why are you sitting there? Why are you making faces at me?!? Are you pissed that you got hit with the cinnamon?!? You are phuking sitting next to the trash can! The trash can is the most left part of the sugar bar. Why are you sitting so phuking close? What it is wrong with you? Did your mother stunt your emotional development when it came to taking out the trash? Actually, I don’t phuking care!!! Please phuking move.

The Starbucks on National is overrun by elves. The Coffee Bean has trash sitters. What the phuk is going on?! What it do?!

/rant

Last Month This Month Next Month

Posted on July 6, 2009

Considering how slow I started, I finished with 36 blog posts last month. We’re going for at least 50 this month. I made some serious decisions last month and starting next month my schedule is about to get crazy. This month is my last month of my twenties. I turn 30 next month. I love the summer.  I’ve got tix to see Meth and Red and KOL next month. I think I heard something abt Outkast this month?! We abts to see a lot of movies this month…and a lot of boobies next month. Turning 30, sounding 6…i’ve still got 1 month left.

Dear LC (@laurenconrad)

Posted on June 29, 2009

Dear Lauren,

lauren-conrad-makeupI am sorry that I was so careless tonight. I am sorry that I was so inconsiderate to those behind me that I blocked you for an entire 2…maybe 3 seconds. That is time that I took from you, carelessly. I know this sounds sarcastic and insincere. I assure that it is not. I am truly, deeply sorry. I hope you can forgive me. I hope your sleepless nights thinking about my douchebaggery will soon be replaced by feelings of admiration for someone who can see his mistake, and repent.

Seeing you in person only escalated my feelings for you. You are unbelievably beautiful on television and are even better looking in person. I know you are thinking the same about me. Please forgive me. Please dump your boyfriend. He took you to a terrible movie theater. I know the Landmark is considered “nice” but it is pretty crappy. Why is the bathroom so far away? Please go out with me?! You are so hot. Monday nights will never be the same.

your one true love,

- j

Older Posts